Beautiful skin I had when we met,
Melanin, dark, chocolate and smooth but I don’t know where it went,
One morning walking in town she decided to slap me in front of people,
Shocked as I was, I run away with tears running down my cheeks,
Why did she slap me? What did I do? What did I say?
I questioned myself, went and boarded a matatu , she came running and board as well,
Sat next to me and started apologizing it was a reflex I don’t know why I did it, I am sorry,
It didn’t answer me but I still forgave her, I am sorry too if I said anything that upset you,
And it was over, so I thought,
Months later, I came home drunk, but she was not in the house entered the bed and slept, hours later, she came and was drunk as well; she noticed I was drunk and she questioned me, where did you go? Why are you drunk? Who bought you the alcohol?
I could not answer and if I did I was rude about it, next thing I could get was another slap,
This time the slaps were many, she pulled my hair, scratched my face, my neck and still I could not understand why,
Was I wrong to go drink with my friends? I was scared to look at her, to even sleep next to her,
Within a few minutes she blacked out and I thought should I leave now? no it’s too late I will go in the morning so I packed my small bag and hid it , in the morning I did not wake her up so I went to shop and withdrew 200ksh knowing it will be enough to get me home .
When I reached the house, she was awake, I stood still at the door and left it ajar in case I want to ran, I was trembling because I knew she will continue. She asked me where I was from I said from the shop , she removed my small bag and asked where I was going , I thought I had hidden the bag well but our small room everything could be seen. I answered with fear I am going home to see my family, she came and held my neck chocked me to the point I was feeling suffocated , I tried to remove her hand but she was so strong for me , I cried my heart out because it was more beating and biting .
My God what was all this, why would a fellow woman beat me for just going to drink with my friends? she shut the door with the padlock and kept the keys as if it’s not enough she took my phone so that I don’t make any call .All this time I was crying and feeling sorry about myself , she insulted me that I was cheap and a whore that I sleep around with men , as if it was not all that he could say, she started gas lighting me, that I am the one who started the fight, that she was only defending herself , then I wondered I could have been drunk but I would know how everything that conspired the previous night , I went silent and planned my escape silently . A few days later, I waited till she had left in the morning , I took my small bag ,packed my clothes and luckly she had left with the key and I had the padlock , I closed and left .. in the evening I received so many calls from her but I never answered , to the point I blocked her . She called with other numbers but when I knew it was her I never answered. Anytime I looked at my face in the mirror, I could see scars, and swellings each day I was traumatized, but I knew where to go for help, I went for therapy for a month and now I am ok.
This is a story is evidence of intimate partner violence(IPV) that is within our LGBTQ community , it shows that there those who have escaped but I stand and ask what of those who have not , or can’t even get out of it at any point? I believe that they are many IPV cases in our community but we do not talk about them. It’s high time we start treating this as a major problem. I personally feel sorry for those who go through it and can’t speak. I abhor this act with a passion and I will ask any one going through this to speak ,let’s stop the silence ,lets support the victims and shame the culprits .